The North American Private Party
by Auto-Alchemechanicist
Summary: America and Mexico celebrate their anniversary. Their bosses wouldn't mind if they went out for a little bit, right? Nor would Canada be bothered by his brother getting the girl, right?


**Title: The North American Private Party**  
**Characters: America, Mexico, Canada  
Challenge: Prompt: Anniversary  
Bonus Words: promise, loss, gain, time (for each section)  
Rating: T  
Summary: America and Mexico celebrate their anniversary. Their bosses wouldn't mind if they went out for a little bit, right? Nor would Canada be bothered by his brother getting the girl, right?  
A/N: I think this is a crack!pairing, but I'm not sure. I'm just being stupid for Hetalia's sake. Plus, I'm doing this one because in Spanish, 'Norteamericano' means North American. In English, it means that you either live in Canada, America, or Mexico. In Spanish, when Mexicans and Latin Americans say it, they mean simply Americans. They don't include Mexicans or Canadians, which is weird. I'm doing this to fix that shit. Enjoy.  
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia  
Part of LiveJournal's HetaChallenge Monthly Theme Challenge!**

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_**Car Talk**_

"I promise I won't talk and eat at the same time," America said as he drove to one of his favorite restaurants in Texas.

"I hope so," Mexico said flatly. "At least on our anniversary, we should look decent. I must ask why you do it, though? I'm not trying to offend you. I'm just curious."

America shrugged while thinking. "I don't know. It's a habit. Plus, I have to do it; if not, I wouldn't be me," he explained.

"True," Mexico admitted. "You wouldn't be my little 'gordito' if you acted like Britain."

That caused America to snort, which led to Mexico's giggle fit. At times, America could be such a dork that Mexico didn't even mind that trait.

"I hope they have 'aguas frescas' in here," she said as she looked out the window to spot the restaurant.

America looked at her with bewilderment. "Okay, what was that that you just said? I speak American here."

Mexico gave a half-annoyed, half-amused sigh before explaining that she hoped for 'Jamaica' and 'Orchata' water.

"Oh, you mean Mexican Juice?" America asked, confidently stating his assumption.

Mexico made an aggravated expression. "Yes, America, it's Mexican Juice."

"I don't think they have that here," he dead-panned as he parked. "You should get a diet coke instead."

Mexico rolled her eyes and smiled wryly. "Thanks. I'll just get water, then. If they don't have 'aguas frescas', it's their loss."

"Why's that? Diet coke's pretty badass," America said.

"You don't know what you're missing. You may feel like you gain weight by drinking a lot of that, but it makes you feel so refreshed," Mexico explained.

America leaned towards her face. "Mexico, this is why we have ice cream. Now, c'mon. Let's go eat. I'm starving!"

Mexico had to smile at that, though. She didn't expect less from America when it came to food.

_**Drinks**_

The man behind the camera smiled impishly. He knew it was wrong to do such an insolent act, but it was necessary. Usually, he would leave it up to the Brits to do the spying for him, but this was valuable information they were going to gain and Mexico and America's bosses didn't want that. It would be a total loss if their countries got in a fight after the romantic dinner had been set up. After all, America and Mexico were celebrating their anniversary, and that day only came one time each year. Who knew how long it would last?

The men promised each other that neither country would find out that their bosses were breaking their own laws and committing illegal espionage, but at that point, they didn't really care. They just wanted to keep an eye on them.

America tried his best to be as much of a gentleman as he could, or tried remembering what Britain had taught him. It never occurred to him that what his brother taught him would actually come in handy. He pulled one of the chairs for Mexico to sit on before he took his seat and called for the waiter so they could order.

Mexico was not surprised when she was told her 'aguas frescas' were not part of the beverage menu and opted for a different drink, which influenced America to order the same thing. A cold Corona would taste so good because of the occasion, but America was not aware of Mexico's bar-tendering skills. The Mexican way of drinking beer was just placing salt around the rim of the bottle, sipping on a lemon, and taking a swig of alcohol. And America wanted to try that.

"Happy anniversary," Mexico winked as she and America clanked their bottles with one another.

_**Canada's Turmoil**_

The Canadian pouted as he hugged Mr. Kumajiro. It was the fifth time that day that he did that and he was really starting to annoy the polar bear. One more of those 'hugs' and the bear would see how the loss of Canada's arm could be seen as accidental.

"Mr. Kumajiro, why doesn't Mexico like me?" he asked in a depressing voice.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Canada."

The bear thought for a moment, forgetting about the hugs completely. "Maybe she's mad at you because your people are freer in America than her people."

The bear actually said something insightful, which got Canada thinking. It was weird how she could be jealous of Canada, yet still prefer America over him. It was even weirder that he was hurt by all of this. It was his brother's anniversary with his girlfriend and he couldn't be happy for him because he liked the same girl, who probably hated his guts. He made a promise to himself that he would go up and talk to her just to get her to notice him, but, like always, America had to be the loud-mouth and Mexico's eyes landed on him first. His brother's attitude always got him to gain things that were important, but he was such a jerk to everyone. And here Canada was, being nice to people only so they could forget him or confuse him for America.

Well, not anymore. Tonight, he would let Mexico know who he was and would convince her that he was better than America. But when he walked into the restaurant and spotted Mexico's table with an empty seat, he couldn't help but feel awkward. He really wanted to say something interesting, but he got intimidated when she greeted him by his name. She recognized him without a problem and the only thing he could do was wave like an idiot.

_**Persuasive with Beer**_

"What are you doing here, Canada?" she asked with a soft expression.

He was expecting for her to be aggressive, but she was so nice right now.

"O-oh, n-nothing. I just came to, uh, eat something," he said in a rush.

"Hey, Canadia! You came just in time!" America boomed from the other side of the restaurant. He had gotten up to get another Corona for him and Mexico. "I promise you that you're going to love this beer, dude. You need to try it! Best alcoholic import I've ever had, and it had to be in Texas, y'all!"

Canada knew America was at a loss for brain and thought, but this was ridiculous. He wasn't drunk, but if he knew what was good for him, he'd stop because that alcohol was quite strong, in large amounts.

"Oh, it's okay! Don't worry aboot me, America," Canada said sheepishly. "I don't want to interrupt your date."

"Nonsense!" America said as he reached the table.

"It's a little too late for that, Canada," Mexico interjected. "Join us. This 'cabron's' going to need some help when he finishes that beer."

He couldn't tell if she was disappointed or amused. That was the thing with Mexico – he could never figure her out. What else would he gain out of this other than experience and learning from America's mistakes? A night of total humiliation, probably.

"Mexico, I'm not Britain. I can actually hold my liquor better than him," America clarified.

"Don't let him hear you," Canada warned with an intimidated tone.

America began to pour himself another glass of beer. "Dude, the worst thing he can do is hit me. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Now, drink up!"

"America, I don't think I should –"

"Just a sip, broha."

"You'll like it, Canada," Mexico said.

He remembered that she was the reason why he came here, so he listened to her and took the glass from America.

_**The Only Sober One **_

He really should stop listening to what others said. But if he did that, he'd be like America.

Canada hadn't realized he was getting tipsy when he, his brother, and Mexico had almost finished the fifth bottle of Corona. He realized a little too late that both America and Mexico were close to getting, if not already, drunk. What helped him was Mexico's slurred voice as she whispered to them, "You know what would be really hot?"

America, answering like an idiot, asked "What?" in a totally non-obnoxious voice. Canada thought that it was either being obnoxious or being drunk, but when his brother laughed, he was capable of being in both states at the same time.

"A three-some."

Canada's eyes widened as America's smile became more mischievous.

"Really?" they asked in unison.

"I promise you it will be 'muy caliente!'"

"Well, let's go!" America said, encouraging his girlfriend and brother to carry out that dirty little act that only drunk people like them could do.

Canada seemed to be at a loss for words before he regained a somewhat straight composure. "Um, y-you can just leave me out of it," Canada began nervously. "It's your anniversary, after all."

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained, Canadia," his brother said with an almost slurry voice. His inebriated state was hard to determine, but he was around those lines of wobbling and falling.

And speaking of falling…

…the ceiling suddenly seemed to break, bringing with it two men that landed on the countries' table.

_**Crashed**_

"Hey, boss, what's up?" America asked.

"Jefe, what are you doing here?" Mexico questioned sarcastically before starting to laugh.

"What are you three doing? You're supposed to be having an anniversary dinner, not some kind of delinquent party," America's boss said with anger evident in his voice.

"Boss, dude, we're just having a little fun. It's not like we're drunk _every day_. Plus, it's our time, and we can do whatever we want on our anniversary, right Mexico?"

"Wrong," Mexico's boss said. "Estupidos, getting drunk right now is not what we planned on you two doing."

"It's not our fault our Coronas are irresistible to these gringos, boss," Mexico mocked, causing America to laugh. Canada just sat there, waiting for someone to get mad at him.

Both bosses pulled on their countries' ears and began to drag them off their chairs. "You just earned yourself another one of my famous smacks to add to your collection, and I promise you you're going to remember this one forever," America's boss said as the poor American began to fight him off. He failed though, and so did Mexico, who almost got slapped by her boss.

"You'll gain something valuable from this experience, mi hijita. Right now, the loss of that beer is less than the loss you would have had if you would have gotten more drunk," Mexico's boss nagged as he dragged her away. "No tacos for an entire week.

"Now, then, happy anniversary, you two," the bosses said as both countries whined because of the pain.

Canada, with nothing to do, hugged Mr. Kumajiro again in hopes of gaining comfort. Instead, his bear became very, very unhappy.

* * *

_A/N: I didn't want to make Mexico the main focus on this, which is why I brought in Canada to balance it out. I also didn't want for this to be so fluffy and romantic because America doesn't look like the romantic type and, in my headcanon, neither is Mexico. Also, Mexico does NOT hate Canada, even though he thinks so. My mom just observed that when Mexicans cross the border, they have to pay a fee, make a huge ass line, show their passport, and sometimes get their cars searched for suspicion and when Canadians cross the border to America, they don't really do much of the hazzle, and don't get the trouble that Mexicans get. At least, that's what we think. But I don't really know if Canadians get some trouble over there as well. Another thing, there are words in Spanish here, so if you guys wanna know what they mean, ask away. :D Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed. Don't mind the long note, or the connected fics, or Mexico and beer. :)_

-Auto-


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